If you stumble upon this, then the likelihood of you being a stray cat is very much likely. Well, you’re in luck, duck (or perhaps cat)! No more pootling your paws down the niffing alley. No more devouring the jettisons of hoomans. This is your most trusted and reliable guide to survive in the concrete jungle of wires and cables, written by yours truly, Captain Copurrnicus Meowington.

A Note from Copurrnicus Meowington
Welcome aboard!

This handbook aims to provide stray cats with a brief crash course, a 101 guide, on surviving in the challenging environment of a concrete jungle. In this guide, you’ll discover stories, anecdotes, and pearls of wisdom compiled from the experiences of the stray cats I’ve encountered throughout my nine lives. If you notice any resemblance to the challenges faced by hoomans, it’s a testament to the shared struggles between us strays and our hooman counterparts.

What’s a concrete jungle and why? In a short and crisp summary, concrete jungle represents the worst aspects of modern urban life. It is no secret that cats like us are drawn to big cities with the promise of better life, exciting entertainment, and the chance to meet new folks. What if I told you that while living in a big city might seem glamorous at first, it is designed to keep you trapped in an unfulfilling life.

If you’re a stray cat navigating the bustling streets of a metropolis, hear me out. I invite you to lend me your attention for a few valuable minutes.

What Brings You Here
Ha! Don’t be ashamed of yourself. I am no stranger to those strange feelings churning deep inside your fluffy chest. Humility is not about denying you your strength, humility is being honest about your weaknesses. You are a stray cat. You might choose to ignore it but the truth retains its position.

Or perhaps… Perhaps you are one of those strays displaying indications of memory loss. Woeful as it is, that is the reality of us abandoned cats. Nevertheless, this is what this guide is for. Take a look at some of the most common reasons why a stray cat becomes a stray cat. Regard it as – your genesis.

The Annex
You’re one of those indoor, domesticated pets. Every time you gaze into a mirror, you see a majestic royal feline. Your hooman has pampered you, groomed you, and even tended to your waste. But that didn’t last, did it? That’s why you find yourself here. They introduced another pet into your kingdom, and it usurped your so-called throne!

Am I not as lovely as that pet? What could I have done differently? Why do you sing our song to that pet? This whirlwind of emotions must be swirling wildly in your fluffy head. Don’t worry, dear annexed, we have tons of support groups, as much as the tunas in the sea, designed to cater to your needs. Damaged relationshionships don’t heal overnight.

The Deathbed Companion
If you find yourself in this group, I empathize with your sorrow. I personally understand the pain, as I once served as a companion to someone in his final moments. He was unwell and abandoned, with no one to care for him but me. I remained by his deathbed, offering what comfort I could with my small, worn-out body, albeit futile, until he drew his last breath.

When a loved one dies, the loss and grief you feel can be deep. It can take time to adjust to what’s happened. But remember this, fellow companion, there are things that death cannot touch. Those we love never truly leave us.

The Feral Devil
If you’re consistently cautious and fearful, avoiding social interactions, then you must be one of the ferals. Hooman contact is something you despise, and your familiarity with the streets surpasses that of most of us. Better yet, you remain unspayed or unneutered. We generally envy you kins, but a feral is a devil. The word feral itself has a kind of magic potency which it allied itself to: free and ferocious.

It’s best if we keep our sanity intact and avoid turning into one. There are things you can do in this feral-turning moment. It might seem like nothing will make a difference, but attempting certain things may alter your perspective.

Surviving Your First Day
Regardless of how and why you became a stray cat, this guide remains incomplete without the tips and tricks to survive your first roofless day. While it may not guarantee your survival, it will undoubtedly enhance your chances of perseverance. Feline! Remember to ready yourself before stepping into the unknown. You’re no longer a pet, and you surely don’t want to turn into a feral. Here are essential elements to equip yourself with.

Strong Stomach
Do not expect any hooman to feed you any longer. If you ever stumble upon a suspiciously welcoming-looking bowl of kibbles, do not munch and chomp! Speaking from experience, it is adulterated with potent substances. Unbeknownst to you, you turn into a banquet for crows. Never mistake generosity with murderous intent.

Apocalyptic Instinct
Puss-up! Caught in the midst of a struggle between good and evil, there’s little time for contemplation. Why get entangled in feline-made notions of right and wrong? Never underestimate the power of your instinct. If a feral beckons you to run errands while you’re in dire straits, it might seem suspicious. Yet, since kittenhood, you’ve been taught to extend a helping paw. It’s not paranoia – your body senses negative vibes. Trust that intuition.

Applause with Claws
Ha! All this while, you’ve safeguarded your sole reliable weapon beneath your fluff, even enduring your hooman’s efforts to trim it down. Keep it sharp and within reach, and don’t hesitate to unsheath it when your life hangs in the balance. This tool may come in handy, not only for survival but also for opening a can of sardines. Don’t misinterpret the gifts nature has bestowed upon you – they are yours to own. Your life’s purpose is to utilize these gifts, and your journey teaches you how to do just that.

Understanding the Map
This guide focuses on the concrete jungle rather than the wild for a reason. The urban terrains are more perilous and unforgiving compared to the challenges of the wilderness. We stray cats are not the sole inhabitants stuck at the bottom of the food chain. The hoomans, too, are preoccupied with the notion of social mobility. While signs and posts may assist in guiding our navigation, the urban landscape remains an uncharted dippy map. Here are some of the locations you must avoid at all costs.

Residential Area
Dumpster diving for food in this area might yield greater rewards, but it requires a resilient mental fortitude. Of course, it is intrinsically inherent for us to desire something greater than where we are now. But I’ve witnessed strays turned into feral beings too often, yearning for the domestic life that other pets enjoy in this residential area, yet to us stray cats, that lifestyle feels distant and remote. Let’s just say that this area is the equivalent of the mirror of Erised.

False Romantic Hideaway
So you found yourself another independent stray cat, refrain from seeking solace and shelter from it. Chances are, that cat is a pompous dysfunctional cat who has yet to peruse my majestic “Stray Cat’s Guide to the Concrete Jungle”. Ha!

On a more serious note, cats of this nature tend to be feeble but driven by a desperate need for a sense of control and power. They will use you and abuse you for their own demented form of satisfaction. You will learn to tolerate the abuse without realizing it. Even if you flee, it will often feel like addiction withdrawal. Don’t let that feeling mislead you into thinking that you’re making the wrong decision.

Junkyard
Yes, the junkyard is for ferals. Yes, they are lost souls. And yes, we strays understand their plight and sorry condition better than anyone else. But if you waddle this path, you are one step closer towards surrendering your autonomy and freedom. Becoming feral doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it getting any better by far. Having feral thoughts can be alarming, but they do go away. Try to figure out the best strategies for you, so you can weather any storm.

And One Last Thing…
I might have given the impression that this guide covers everything you need to know. Unfortunately, I lack the time and experience to create an exhaustive guidebook. Nevertheless, I believe it provides a good starting point for stray cats seeking pointers on what to do next. To conclude, let me share my favorite go-to strategies when my heart is unsettled.

• Take a nice long nap.
• Taunt that homebody dog on the leash.
• Sneak in a few minutes of playtime everyday.
• Treat yourself to a good meal from time to time.
• Curl yourself up on windowsills and go bird-watching.

Let’s bring our paws together and wish all strays goodluck in their lives!