What do you mean it gets darker quicker?
Why is it so gloomy everyday?
Why is it even exam season this time around?
Can it stop being so cold already?
Questions that I can only ponder on but never answer nor live with. Being used to the sunny weather in Malaysia, coming to France felt like a complete 180° change . The change of seasons wasn’t like how I imagined it to be. Take an example, when you think of spring, it’s always vibrant tones of flowers and the perfect ratio of wind and sun. To be completely fair, yes, you may experience that but in my case it also comes with a hint of serious pollen allergies. Hence all of it, it just spoils my overall mood.
I think seasons play a huge role when it comes to emotions. Am I depressed or is it merely just the weather affecting my mood? In the worst case, I’d be damned to say I’m depressed ! In Malaysia, the notion of winter depression was foreign to me. I was accustomed to a climate that, while unvarying, provided a sense of familiarity and predictability. However, studying in France now thrusted me into a world where all seasons played a pivotal role in my daily life. The onset of winter brought not just a drop in temperature but also a shift in the entire ambiance.
I’m sure by the time this article comes out, it would already be winter. Let’s all agree that despite the glistening snow we’ve all been waiting for and the lively Marché Noël along with all the Chichis in the world ( context : Chichi is a parisian slang for Churros), we all hate the coldness, the aggressive winds and that tiny ounce of loneliness that comes with it. It magnifies feelings of isolation and homesickness. The absence of familiar support systems such as our family and lifelong friends back home, becomes something we reminisce about more than ever.
The merriest time of the year can intensify a sense of loneliness for those far from home. Anyone who moved abroad knows the feeling of wanting to go home for that familiar feeling but never quite finding it again. The best way I brought myself to cope with winter is to play an active role in my own well-being. I figured that actively seeking out support networks works the best for me. It’s nice to casually call your friends and just talk about the most random things. It could be just randomly rambling how much we hate winter or spilling the most gruesome tea about people we’ve never met. Personally, I wanna try a more adventurous point of view this year, something that I surely won’t find back home, such as skiing or ice skating, or even hiking in snowy mountains. But for the earlier months in winter, I’ll just stick with romanticising life in a much cozier way at home. Perhaps by sitting near the window and admiring the snowfall (more context: I have never seen snow till now) or simply making hot chocolate with petite marshmallows and whip cream.
Perhaps in my case, it all still feels very new to me. I hope as the years go by, Winter won’t be a time where I worry about my mental state the most anymore. It would be nice that one day I get to sit and just love winter for being winter, appreciating every bit of winter, whether it be the cold or the thick clothings or even the wet boots after walking 5 seconds in the streets. One may view it as a period of sorrow and misery, while another can navigate the winter blues and turn the season into a time of personal growth and resilience. That would be your choice to make.
